unexpected side effects

There is something that has occurred since I left work that has caught me by surprise. People are starting to know that I am someone's wife. I'm confused by it, but it may have something to do with me being able to be around him more. I can't tell you how many times I have heard, "Oh, we knew who Dan was, and that he was married, and we knew who you were, but we just never put the two of you together."

When I worked, I had time for work and home and a few things with friends. I went to church and served at it, but I now realize I didn't have much time to just "be together" with my husband. We were busy taking shifts and juggling schedules.

This brings me to another thought...I'm not sure if I like not being able to hide. I'm not shy, so that isn't the issue. It is the awareness that people see me and know who I am. I have to be sure I am "representing." There is a difference between this and faking, and it is a good difference. It causes me to have a stronger filter...and yes...at this point I am saying I actually do have a filter although this may be a shock to some.

And another thought...I am not only a wife but I am also a Christ follower. So I'm thinking that the filter thingy should have always been in place. Oops. I often forget that I am a representative of Jesus wether I am writing my facebook updates, writing this blog or just hanging out with friends.

What if people have thought, "I know who Jesus is and who you are, I just never put the two of you together." Granted, I screw up and fail, and I don't think those things need to be hidden (that is what I mean when I say there is a difference between "representing" and "faking") but when I am struggling or I am upset, do I go to the Bible first and see how I should respond, or do I go immediately to my friends or facebook and vent? Or do I sometimes I think I have something hilarious to contribute, but it hasn't...well...lets just say it isn't "well filtered." Eyes are watching. I've found too many times that my gut reaction is questionable and I should shut up and process with God first. And by "process" I mean get off my lazy butt and see what the Bible has to say on the matter, then pray that God changes my heart to be a good reflection on Him.

Just realized I may have hit the all time record of quotation marks in this post. I counted eight. "Wow" (nine). I think I need to work on grammatical filtering next. Be patient...one mountain at a time.