I want more

This week Jaden and I were having conversation in the car about why I didn't always allow him to get more ipad apps, even when they are free. I explained how everything around us tells us that we need more things, more stuff, and only through that will we find happiness.

He mentioned he has realized when he gets a toy he's wanted for a very long time he gets bored of it pretty quickly and he wants something new.

Exactly.

I asked him if there is anything in the world that would make him happy forever. He paused, thought and said, "Jesus." What a good pastor's kid. We discussed what satisfaction meant and that learning about God, following God and trusting God is the only thing in life that brings real joy and happiness.

His response was, "Wow, I want all of that God stuff!"

Exactly.

You know what? Me too. I also want Jaden's purity and passion. His ability to trust without a hint of skepticism or irony. Once I tried to explain the Holy Spirit to one of my friends, and the whole time I was talking a voice in my head was saying, "This sounds ridiculous."

But who cares? I know God is the only reason I am who I am. I know that I am selfish mess on my own. So why do I hesitate? Jesus said to come to Him as a child. I understand why.

Raising children has taught me more about my sinfulness than any other thing. I have had to rely on God desperately in ways I never imagined. It has forced me into His Word. And crazy thing...the Word is changing me. You may not see it, but it is there. I trust like I've never trusted before. My passion is more pure than it ever has been. I still don't have what Jaden has, but I'm closer to that than ever before.

I want all of that.