i'm working. i've been up and working for about an hour now. it feels like i've been working forever. jaden gave me an early start today (something isn't right with him...he was up screaming every 3 hours last night).
i got to volunteer in the children's ministry at church yesterday. it was so good to be back. i loved my job there. its weird...i don't think i would have left that job if i would have known what was going to happen to my father-in-law. you know what a cool idea is? God should give us all a chance to transend time 1 time, concerning 1 situation, in our lives. He could send us a ticket in the mail on our 18th b-day...and then we use the ticket anytime we want from then on. i know i'm only 26, but i think i would use my ticket right now. i would like to know if dennis is going to get better. i would also like to know if he doesn't get better, why God chose to do this.
my husband is really good at obeying and trusting God even when it doesn't make sense. i know that i will continue to follow God even if the worst happens with dennis. i'm just going to have a hard time feeling that God loves us. i didn't want to write that, but that is the truth. i know that the world is chaos, i know that there is evil, i know that love doesn't always mean safety and happiness...i know all this stuff, i just have a hard time taking what i know and feeling that God still cares.
so i guess in the meantime i just act on what i know and hope that my heart catches up.
"...when the darkness settles in Lord, still i will say, Blessed be the name of the Lord"
3 comments:
Thanks, again, for your honesty. I don't know how I would feel, but I imagine myself feeling much the same way as you described. It is so weird that you wrote that verse. Every time I pray for Dennis or you and Dan, "Blessed be the Name" will not stop playing over and over in my head.
Much love and continual prayers,
Jen
thanks jen. i love you.
Jaden might be teething. (It might help with your nights!)
Post a Comment