i've hit a computer low

so i had to go to my husband's blog and click on the link to my name...because i forgot what my blog address was. i think that officially qualifies me to get kicked out of the blog club.

some stuff i've been thinking about:
i like the people i work with...but i think i hired too many christians. i like christians and i happen to be one, but it makes for an interesting working environment for my few workers who aren't christians. i have one employee in particular who is a great worker who has a passion for missions...and i think her summer mission is to "win to Christ" every worker at our shop. i'm actually thinking about talking to her...not as a boss...but as a fellow christian...and explain to her how upset and annoyed our non-christians are with her constant evangelising.

here are some things i don't like about my shop.

1-lines have been drawn between christians and non-christians. its not the crusades or anything like that, its just that the non-christians feel very "other." i would prefer it if we could all just be individuals. the more the non christians get evangelised to...the more uncomfortable they feel working at the shop. i hate that, and it makes me really sad.

2-i'm starting to resent christians. not my friends, but the people who come into the shop with their Bibles and rotten attitude. i feel uncomfortable with them...and i'm one of them! honestly, i understand why the people who work for me don't want anything to do with Christianity. if i hadn't seen through the falseness and pretention of many christians to the real, gritty, and honest christians i know...i would probably feel the same way.

3-i'm afraid that my friends (i'll call them the "nons") will get a wrong impression of the God i serve and believe in. i'm also afraid they will assume i'm one of those "cool christians" who is cool with anything. i'm pretty conservative. i still believe in the inerrancy of the Bible and that Jesus is the only way. i still believe in right and wrong and that there are lines that Christians shouldn't cross when it comes to sin. BUT, i also believe that each person is passionately loved by Christ, and that He calls people in the right time, and that He allows room for working out questions about life and faith.

What i love about the shop:

i have met some of the most interesting and honest people. i cannot believe how many open conversations i've had about God and life. i'm free to be myself there. i hope that my "non" friends know how much i care about them. i hope they know that i do want them to know the God i know. i want them to know that i accept them for who they are. i'm not scared of their questions or anger towards christianity. i want them to see who Jesus really is. not the political jesus they see in government or on the news, but the Jesus who cared about people.

To be honest, i'm exhausted from the shop. i've avoided blogging because i don't want people to know how unhappy i am most of the time lately. i started this job because i felt i needed to leave my comfortable church environment. i left it...and i got my ass kicked. but yeah...the ass kicking is worth it.