My S*** Shooter

i love my baby...but she has a defect. i don't want to trade her in for a different model, i just want to send her back to the store and have them fix her and send her back to me.

does that sound harsh to you?

well let me ask you...have you been projectile pooped on 3 times?!

i'm not talking about a little runny poop that accidentally gets on her onesie...i am talking ready, aim, fire. in case you still don't get the whole idea, picture a water soaker.

do you think i'm exaggerating? then explain to me why last night (technically 3 am) after the horror was over, i had poo on:

-my jammy pants
-my shirt
-my robe
-the rug
-the floor
-my hand
-my arm
-the 3 clean diapers i had sitting out (catch that? she destroyed 3 clean diapers with one shot)
-the wet wipe container
-the changing pad

i love her any everything...but this is really gross. i hope she grows out of it someday, she may have trouble finding a husband who would be okay with this.

unforturnate goldfish

parker is mad again. she is unable to be consoled. she gets like this at least once a day. we have been putting her in her swing during these times. her swing has a plastic goldfish that hangs over her, and right now she is beating the crap out of it. she has a pretty strong left hook...and the goldfish is the brunt of her fury right now.

ah newborns...so precious, so snuggly, so innocent

...so loud

her own rhythm

we had it made in our home. our schedule was beautiful, and we had it down. we worked, we had meetings, we played on our days off, we had a great bedtime for jaden and ourselves....


and it is over.

completely over.

she cries alot. at night mostly.

she eats constantly.

i don't know what day it is...i don't know what i should be doing each day...

i'm completely lost.

and i couldn't be happier. she has shaken my life.

got it out of it's rut.

she has imposed her schedule on our lives and she dominates (for now).

i should resent her. who is this woman entering my home and life, capturing my husband's heart, stealing my child's attention, taking up all my time?

her name is parker elizabeth price. she is 1 week and 2 days old.

she is little and squishy and looks a little bit like a spider monkey.

she is also the most beautiful creature i have ever seen.