i'm 12 years old again

i'm currently tying up a letter for my boss for our client, Bobbie. each time i try and spell her name it comes out Boobie. and each time it makes me laugh hard.

if you've read dan's post you know that he had quite a fall yesterday. he willing sacrificed his body to make sure that jaden didn't get hurt. i'm glad it was dan and not me because i fear my instints would not have been so parental. my instincts...not good, my reflexes...also not good. i don't think it would have been a pretty picture.

speaking of reflexes...have you ever done that game where you stand up and hold your arms straight out with palms facing forward, and then someone stands and drops a yard stick through your hand and you measure from where you caught it? there have been times where i barely grabbed the yardstick before it hit the floor. not good.

you should ask dan about my driving reflexes. i think he may still be tramatized from my many exit misses on the highway.

my clothes don't fit right today. i keep pulling at them and adjusting them. i feel like a human in hobbit clothes. and just so you all know, my belt is on it's last hole...which means if i get any fatter i will have to retire it. granted, i've had the belt since college and i am wearing my pants lower on my hips, yet somehow those are small consilations.

...and i have food stuck in my teeth.

do you ever have fever dreams (hallucinations) where things look normal, but everything feels wrong? that is what today feels like. a big fever dream.

God grant me the serenity

i suck. i'm a bad person.

i'm covering for our receptionist right now and i have nothing better to do than to snoop through her stuff.

she has a plethera of inspirational quotes and verses on her desk. i don't know why... but it really annoys me. as i read these things i hear gloria gaither's voice dictating it. why am i such a jerk? these things aren't bad, and if they help her feel inspired or strengthed, who am i do turn a distainful nose at them?

i'm a snotty jerk, thats who.

my attitude could be spurred on by the fact that i'm annoyed that i have to cover the front desk, so i'm lashing out at her innocently posted papers.

i think i should go pray now.

velma...you're goin' down

the enemy has been sighted.
her name- velma
her location-the ymca
her offense-making me look weak

every day this woman is working out at the ymca. she is old-real old. and every day she makes me look ridiculous.

How?

She's got the endurance of a camel...thats how. she is a fellow treadmiller. she is always going when i get there, and she is still on when i leave. i am probably 50 years her junior, and we go the same pace. except that she does it longer and at an incline. that doesn't do anything good to my 20-something ego.

but today something changed. it started out the same-i got there and she was going on the treadmill. i hopped on the one beside her and it was on. i started out slow to phyche her out. then at 15 min. it began. i started to speed up. i sped up to a slow jog, and then a little more to a less slow jog. and after 30 seconds of this intensity i looked over and what was velma doing...just her regular pace at her regular incline.

I took her down. she's scared now. i can see it in her. i slowed back down so not to make her feel bad, but she knows now who to watch for. i was just sending a message.


velma, you're on notice.

i have no words for this

jaden has man gas right now. i wish i could duplicate the hilarity of him sitting in his high chair passing volitile gas. the part i like the most is how clever he thinks it is. it starts young...

tomorrow i go back to work. i like my job so i don't mind.

wierd thing happened...i was reading my friend amy's blog (this is where the link would go if i knew how to do that computer geek stuff) and she posted the answers to one of those "get to know you" survey things. i enjoyed reading it...but that isn't the point. the point is that the answer to the last movie she saw was 40 year old virgin. that just so happens to be the movie i watched last night. weird. out of all the movies out there...

by the way. i found it very funny. i didn't expect it to be funny so it was a nice surprise.

child is done farting and is now crying. could be diaper related. must go now.