Dear God...I have an idea and i think you should consider it...

i make lists. i really like lists. checking things off my list gives me a rush.

i want life to be a checklist:
1. Get rid of my negative attitude-Done
2. Change my eating habits-In Process
3. Be fit-Incomplete
4. Cook all meals for my family-Incomplete
5. Be completely commited in my relationship with God-Done

and then this is my idea for God. Once the things have all been moved to "done" status. I can check them off my list an be done with it. The hardest thing about trying to change is knowing that it will always be some sort of a struggle. I will always be "in process" in one form or another.

i don't completely dig that concept. if i get it right once, why should i keep having to get it right? its not like i'll be bored...there are plenty of things i have to get right in my life. this is just the tip of the iceburg. checking these off my list would allow me to focus on the rest of the muck that lingers deep inside.

i see this as a win win for us and God.

So God, what do you think?

holy crap...

my child has pooped 3 times in the past 2 hours. are you kidding me?

he is also making it very difficult to work at my desk now that he is tall enough to reach papers on my desk. if they come even slightly close to his fingertips he will rip them off the desk. he has also gotten into my "throw out" pile and spread it all over my floor. did i mentioned the cherios? he dumped a container of them on the floor. oh yeah, he has managed to pull off most of the books on the bookshelf.

one would think pooping 3 times would be enough to occupy his time. apparently not. i have birthed a multi-tasker.

nap time is calling.

i did it

i started a crepe shop journal. i can't believe i started it, but some of this stuff is so good and unbelievable it just has to be written down.

i'm going to turn it into a book and get interviewed on the daily show and NPR.

yikes

this stuff is confusing.

so this is the God i know and like: He saves us...He loves us...He sent His boy to earth to show me His love.

and this is the God that scares the pee out of me: The God that hangs out in Joshua (the book in the Bible). This God brutally wipes out nations. I know the Israelites had to claim their "promised land" i'm just wondering why the promised land had to have so many people already there. couldn't the promised land have been some secret unihabited land that God suddenly reveals to the Israelites after all their wandering? i'm guessing they were pretty tired from all their travels...it probably would have been nice for them to sit down on some soft grass and take a swig of that flowing honey instead of suiting up for battle.

yes, i understand that through this nations saw that God was the true God, and men feared His power. and yes...i believe that God is a Holy and powerful God. and yes...i know that God is much bigger than me.

i guess its just starting to set in. the God i serve is scary. not the kind of nightmare scary that makes me want to run away...but the kind of scary that makes me want to be on His side and let Him go first in battle. the kind of scary that makes me not want to mess with Him too much.

my mom-in-law sent me a great writing from Ravi Zacharias. in it, he poses the question of when is it proper to be angry with God and question what He is doing, and when is it proper to just trust and refute your feelings with truth? good question. scary God would tell me to just trust, and loving God would tell me to be honest and raw with Him. the part that blows my mind is that He is both. i know i learned this in my theology classes...but about an hour ago i actually tried sitting down and thinking about this. how can one being terrify the poop out of me and yet be the only thing i want to run to? in God i'm completely unworthy and completely accepted.

and when i tried to really think about this, my head started to hurt and i wanted to take a nap.

yup...a nap. i don't exercise my inner being that much. i must have been out of shape.

big news

Jaden's hair is starting to come in! my boy is starting to fill out. :)

i'm going to take jaden in a couple of hours to visit my friend in ann arbor. she lives in columbus, but she is visiting her family in ann arbor so i'm going to join her out there. i'm excited. she hasn't seen jaden since he was 3 months old. she is going to freak out. i miss her a lot. she is one of the greatest friends ever.

i've been thinking a lot about the woman i want to be. probably because i ate ice cream and peanut butter crackers all day yesterday. :) actually its because i talked to my mom yesterday, and read my mom-in-law's blog today. these women are amazing. most people don't even have 1 good mom, and i've got 2.

so now i've decided what i want to be when i grow up. i want to be awesome. i better get working on that.

chocolate fondue

we are leaving in a couple of hours to go up north for the weekend. i'm so happy to be getting away. dan is in a wedding up there sat., so we will be busy with wedding stuff, but it will still be a nice change in environment.

curious about the title of my post? well, ooh la la crepes now has a chocolate fondue fountain. it hasn't been opened, but by next week we will have chocolate flowing like a river in our front kitchen. you may ask why, and my response would be...good question. the best answer is because the boss man saw one in chicago, liked it, and bought it. he thinks it will add to the beauty and creativity of our shop. i like to think the beauty and creativity comes from the fact i only hire supermodels and abercrombie boys...but i guess i was mislead.

i need to keep a journal recording the daily happenings of this job. then i will turn it into a book. a sarcastic, yet tender look on life of the unexperienced manager and her troop of crepers. but then again...that means i would have to keep a journal which means i would have to buy one, then sit down with a pen and write things, then repeat the process every day.

i don't see it happening.