okay, i've got to get a new picture of me on this thing

i know childbirth is beautiful and all...but i've looked at that picture of me in the hospital for seven months straight now...its time for a change. i had an interesting short conversation with my friend nicole today. i was sharing a story of ways i tried to lose weight in college, and i made the flipant comment, "not that it matters anyway...nothing has changed." and nicole mentioned that she doesn't know one girl who is happy with her size. that is pathetic. i don't know a girl like that either (if you are my friend reading this, and i'm wrong...please let me know). but you know what is ever more sad? i want to be that girl and i don't think i ever will be. WHAT IS WRONG WITH OUR GENDER?! and even more, What is wrong with me?

enough reflection.

i'm working alot. a whole lot. i'm still okay and i haven't lost my mind...but i can't wait to leave for christmas. i'm really enjoying the crepe shop thing, but its pretty challenging. i have to act like i know what i'm doing. if the rest of the world is like me, then no one knows anything and we are all just faking it. nice thought. merry christmas.

i'm crying again

i just read all the comments on my husband's last post and i started crying. i obviously haven't been online for awhile so i didn't know so many people had responded to dan's post about his dad. dan and i haven't talked about it much, because we don't know what to talk about. its scary not knowing what's going on or why God chose to allow this to happen...but its even scarier to think about going through this without God.

just to update on my life, i've accepted a job managing a crepe shop. the shop isn't open yet, but it should be ready by the middle of february. i'm currently working side by side with the owner trying to get this shop ready. i'm really excited about the opportunity...its a challenge...but i like challenges. i'm still doing the church thing right now, but we will hire and start training my replacement in january. there is a ton going on with both jobs right now so i'm trying really hard to keep my head straight.

jaden is awesome. i can't explain how much i love and enjoy him. and he is crying right now so i'm going.