A clever title

its intimidating to know i'm putting myself out there for people to read and make their own impressions about me. i try really hard to sound cool so people will like me...but its starting to wear me out. coolness is not my gifting. "gifting"- what a funny word...and yet i know that every person who is a christian and reads that word will know what i mean. no wonder people think we are strange.

i just re-read this and realized i have posted yet another blog on how i want people to think i'm cool. wow. this needs some clarification. i guess down deep i do want people to like me and think i'm cool...i mean really...who doesn't? but i honestly don't spend time thinking about ways to make myself cool. who has the time? i'm generally pretty happy with the person God created me to be. i definately have flaws and issues, but i prefer to keep them nicely tucked away in denial.

and if i lost 20 more pounds i would be even more happy with the way God created me.

speaking of Jaden (the cause of the extra 20 lbs)...i actually played with him today. its so exciting to see him interacting. he smiled so much this morning i thought my heart was going to burst. he even laughed a little bit. what an awesome kid.

try again

this is my third attempt to post on my blog. i don't know what it is, but its like jaden knows when i'm getting ready to post. every time i've started he has begun crying hysterically. and to be honest, he is crying at this very moment, but i just had to lay him down and let him cry it out.

so the other morning i woke up and jaden was sucking on my armpit (yes, i sometimes let jaden sleep with me in bed). i wonder if it tasted good, or if it was the closest thing to comfort him. how strange that he chose my armpit. i'm sure it wasn't a conscience choice, but still he is a strange little creature. it amazes me how much babies don't understand. i doubt any adult would ever suck on someone else's armpit. when things like that happen i'm even more amazed that Jesus allowed himself to come to earth as a baby. a ignorant, helpless, armpit sucking baby. the God who created communication could only cry. weird.

i can't believe i just turned jaden's armpit sucking into a spiritual moment...

what can i say, i'm just a spiritual kind of girl.

people are so nice

i could really get used to this blogger thing. i'm so encouraged after reading people's comments. i know i really should read dan's blog before i write mine, so i don't repeat...but i doubt it will happen too often since i have no idea where most of his stuff comes from. i guess he is just too smart and creative for me. i wish my blog was more like his. then i could have a competing blog and get people to like me more than him. frown on me if you will, but you would think the same way if you were married to dan price. (i'm compelled to throw a smiley face in now...:)...because i'm afraid that people may take me seriously and think i have serious issues that should be dealt with in marriage counseling. smiley faces seem to be the best way to show that this is all in good fun. :) :) see?)

trust me. i love my husband and have no hidden jealousy towards him.

anyway, the update on my life is that jaden is now feeling better. dan and i both got sick instead. i got sick first, only a head cold...but i hate head colds. you can't breathe, you talk funny and your head is so stuffed up your brain has no room to function so you act like an idiot. dan is sick now. its starting as a cold, but sickness usually hits him harder, so it may get worse.

today jaden cried all day. no joke. the good part of that story is he is exhaused now and sleeping soundly. i may get a good night's sleep tonight. but still...how can a little person like him do 1 thing all day and not get bored with it? if it was me i'd be like, "yeah, my diaper needs changed and i'm a little hot right now, but i've cried all day as it is... so i think i'll try something different this time."

goodnight now. i'm going to try to sleep while i can.

i'm a grownup now

if you read my husband's blog, you know that our boy is sick. i think i can honestly say this has been one of the hardest things i've had to deal with. everything is upside down since he's been sick. my mornings and nights run together, my eating is all confused and off (as is jaden's), and i have to watch this helpless creature suffer before my eyes without being able to help him. he's so little. he just seems too small to handle the croupy cough, fever and vomiting. its especially hard when he pulls back, looks me straight in the eye and starts whimpering. its like he knows that my job as mom is to make him all better...and i'm not holding up my end of the deal. it doesn't help that because of sleep deprivation, i can't get ahold of my emotions. so jaden and i just lay down together and cry.

there is some good to this though.
1. its the first time i've had to trust jaden to God in reality and not just theory. 2.i've been able to spend the past 2 days doing nothing but holding jaden and taking care of him...its shown me that my daily schedule, lack of shower and messy house are nothing in comparison to my baby boy.
3.i again see what an incredible man i have married, and how i could never do this without him.
4. i get to see jaden stripped down to his diaper (trying to cool off his fever). seriously, this kid is so cute. i don't know if there is anything cuter than an almost naked baby. i would say completely naked babies are cuter...but they pee on you. i much prefer the diaper.

so i'll survive... and so will jaden.

i'm back

wow...i left that last post hanging out there for a long time. that is exactley the reason why i hesitated to do a blog in the first place. i was afraid that i might end up letting something like "i picked it" be the only thought posted in a week. i promise that i do more than sit around thinking about jaden's boogers. for example...he is sitting in my lap right now and his face is getting all red and he is grunting, so now i am thinking, "is he pooping or just passing gas?" what can i say, i live a multidementional life now.

but just to prove my mind wanders away from him occasionally...

i've been thinking about how quickly and easily i have adjusted to michigan. it just doesn't make sense. i don't know if its becaused i grieved so much about leaving columbus while i was still there, or if its because i just love it so much here. for the first time i really feel like i fit. i feel so cared for by the people. i don't think i've felt alone since we moved here. i really think thats how God intended his family to be. its also been a humbling thing in our lives too, because we have been on the recieving end most of the time since we came here. i've learned its easier for me to be the doer instead of the reciever.

baby is fussing. time to bring my mind back to him.

i picked it

if any one is interested...i decided to pick his booger.

here it goes

well, i can't believe that i'm here. i never thought i would enter the world of bloggers. i still don't know how i feel about the world wide web having access to some of my thoughts, but this seems to be a good form of communication nowadays...so why not. i don't know if this blog will even be interesting because i feel that my life is mostly wrapped up in my new baby...and no one really wants to hear how many times my little boy pooped his diaper in one day (4 times so far today), or that he is now drinking 5 oz of formula every feeding instead of 4.

i will try my hardest to keep my blog interesting, but no guarantees. right now i'm facinated by the fact that my boy has his first booger. i'm not quite sure what to do with the booger. should i pick it? should i just let it fall out? any thoughts out there on a course of action?

see what i mean? this is my life. i'm not complaining because its not a bad life. i actually kind of like it.

Ch check it out

Suzanne's first blog. She will be here soon!